When you focus solely on a fixed duration, sleep becomes harder, not better
When you focus solely on a fixed duration, sleep becomes harder, not better.
“I need eight hours of sleep. I will lie in bed until I get them!”
This thought traps more people than you'd think.
I see this often at the workshops I run at companies. The more we try to hit a specific number, the more our brain stays alert and tracks the countdown to wake-time, making sleep even more elusive. This is the sleep effort paradox.
The truth? You cannot control how many hours of sleep you actually get. Your biology decides that. But you can control the sleep opportunity you create.
I learnt this distinction the hard way while caring for my father through vascular dementia and navigating life with a newborn son thereafter. Some nights I got six hours. Some nights, four. When your nights are unpredictable, obsessing over the clock becomes a recipe for poor sleep.
Here are three things I realised over the years:
⭐️ Treat the “7-9 hours" as a guideline, not a fixed rule. Individual sleep needs vary based on genetics, age, and health conditions. Forcing yourself to hit someone else's number creates frustration, not rest.
⭐️ Notice your sleep effort. If you find yourself "trying" to sleep, pause. Observe the tension. The effort itself is often what's keeping you awake. Sleep is something you allow, not achieve.
⭐️ Manage your expectations of sleep. Match them to where you are right now. Transitions like new parenthood, caregiving or settling into a new job require flexibility, not rigid targets.
Sleep is not a number. It is the bridge that gets you from today to tomorrow in a more rested state.
Thank you, Durga from WriteHaus Asia, for inviting me to be on the podcast to share how mindfulness builds sustainable sleep habits.
If sleep is a struggle or you are simply looking to build better sleep habits, check out the episode or reach out to us at Somnus Sleep Wellness for support!
What would change if you stopped chasing hours and started creating space instead? ☺️